What To Do When Your Lady Wants you to Break the Bank for an Engagement Ring

spend-engagement-ring

We all know when it’s coming, view it’s almost like there is slow aroma associated with it, click a cosmic 6th sense amongst us men whereas we simply know our lady is staring at that bare ring finger of hers and daydreaming as to the love ice she’s sees embroidering it.   It can often come a bit premature, but as is the opposite gender.   If we love that damsel like we should at the point of marriage consideration, then the inevitable questions ensue.  Numero uno: How much should I spend?   Is it really this two months salary rule of thumb?   What about if our lady aspires to higher tastes?  There will be so many questions that envelope our naïve minds.   Do we have the cash to buy the right ring?  Do we go credit?  Is it about the ring or is it about the message?  Do we even want to marry a girl who is focused on materiality?   Should we save on the ring and use the money on a house?  Ah, so many things to consider.  For this exercise, let’s assume that most girls live the age old fantasy from when they were a tyke, dreaming of being a princess and one where they are adorned with a rock that blares the light of god when the sun refracts through it, one that turns all other women’s heads in jealousy, one that they can brag about when they are sipping persecco at brunch(which is usually the most important value prop to that thing).  At the end of the day, what your lady (and ultimately gets) is a sign to everyone around her at how much you love her and how far you are willing to go (translation = spend) to make her know that.

Let’s take this one in a couple stages:

wedding-coupleIs the ring simply not a sign of love?    Primitive man would show his unbridled devotion with a couple to strands of animal hair tied around a finger.   The common medium, the man had to work to make it happen.  Cavemen didn’t have diamonds, but they did have put some guts and sweat into tracking down that animal.   Nothing has changed gents, that ring should be a symbol of hard work.  It’s a sacrifice done on behalf of a woman to let her know that you are willing to carve out time and investment in her to illustrate your commitment.  A woman wants to know a man is dedicated to working his @ss off to build their future together.   It just happens that in todays world, where Tiffany’s and Jared’s are sinking their marketing teeth into their psyches, that comes by way of bling.   All men should know some reasonable ballpark at which that means within the potential earnings income.  If you have a lady asking you to go to unrealistic levels beyond that scale, then you might want to SOS out of there and realize that she’s not in it for all the right reasons.

One must realize that once you devote your life to another, finances become one and the single biggest point of arguing/divorce in marriages is finances.  A ring has literally no functional value to a relationship/life together, such that if the spend ask there is beyond reasonable, you might be leading yourself down a path of destruction with someone who isn’t financially rationale.   There are going to be far more important things to sink your earnings  into once the honeymoon is over.

The bottom line then becomes not how much you should spend on your fiance’, but if to buy at all.  If the price tag is too important to her, then it might be time to really reassess what’s important in a long term relationship.

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